Always Searching

We have had the opportunity to meet some amazing people since we have started this journey with Kaden. One of Kaden's teachers, who has since become a dear friend, said something once that I will never forget. I would often talk to her about our many trials & tribulations as we faced them, as we searched for answers, and attempted to find the absolutely best care for Kaden.

One day as we were talking, she told me that we are "always searching."  This really hit home for me, because there was so much truth to what she said. From the day I suspected Kaden was not typically developing, I have been searching. We search for information, answers, tools that will help him, the best care for him, strength within ourselves to get him through through the hard times, and a million other things. It can be exhausting, but we never stop searching because the second that we do, we might miss something that could be crucial for Kaden and his development.

We constantly search for answers, and I have learned that no one has them. No Speech Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Developmental Pediatrician or Neurologist can give us the answers we are searching for because they just don't know. I have had to learn to accept this, know that we are the experts when it comes to Kaden, and instead of focusing on finding the answers we need to focus on the behaviors & how to help him develop in the most effective way possible.

Recently, I have struggled with our search for Kaden's classroom placement, and to ensure he is in the most developmentally appropriate classroom.  See, when we search for the "appropriate" classroom placement for Kaden we can't just look at school statistics, test scores, etc. like parents of typically developing children are able to do. We have to look far beyond the surface. Here are just a handful of the most important things we have to investigate when considering classroom placement for Kaden:

• The teacher and teaching style.
• How many teachers and assistants are there in the classroom?
• How many children or "peer  models" are  in the class, what kind of energy each of those children are bringing to the class as well as their strength & weaknesses.
• Is the classroom set up for fine and gross motor activities, as well as sensory activities?
• Are they using pictures schedules for the children?
• Do they have systems set up for transitioning the children between activities?
• How does the program incorporate communication/speech and language development?

These are just a few things that are extremely important as we search for the most appropriate classroom placement for Kaden. After visiting several classrooms in March, we placed Kaden in a wonderful SDC (Special Day Class) when he turned three. It is a very eclectic group of children whom all have different strengths,and the teacher runs the classroom much like a  typical preschool. Now that the school year is coming to an end, some of the professionals who work with Kaden are wondering if he might have more learning opportunities in a different classroom with stronger peer models.  The operative word here is "wondering." Many people feel that Kaden would have opportunities in a "higher functioning" (I hate that term) classroom where the children are talking and interacting more. SO now, it is up to us to visit more classrooms, weigh out all of the pros and cons, and find the place where Kaden will thrive the most.

I think everyone on this planet is always searching for something. Our search is no more or less important than anyone else's...just different, and the consequences feel so pressing. The stakes are high, and this time in Kaden's development is so crucial.

The search is only a part of this wonderful world of Autism. With the search comes the fight. Let me tell you, we fight as much as we search and it is equally as exhausting. The systems we are up against are broken, have no money, and unfortunately their best interest is not always in the child (more often than not it is in the best interest of the budget).

Last week I hit a wall and was feeling defeated. I was tired of fighting and searching. Last Sunday one of my life-long friends had a benefit for Kaden, and this was just what I needed to get my fire back. It was amazing that so many people came out to support Kaden and Autism. People we didn't even know from all different places and walks of life. My family & friends came and helped us all day long, showing their deep love and support for Kaden and our journey. Brenda, thank you. I know you worked your butt off to put this together, and ran around crazy all day making it happen. My heart is so full of gratitude, and I am ready to push through this fight to make sure my little man has the best life possible!

Where there may be no answers, there is a light that shines bright and will direct you to wherever it is you need to go....no matter what challenges you face in life.

May you all find peace and happiness as you search for whatever it is you may be searching for in life.